If I Were Running A Company…HRist Mysteries

Written by Tracy

As a recruiter, I do get some strange messages and follow-ups. This one just came out of nowhere. Here is the person’s message after we connected [Editor’s note: keeping the name anonymous].

I have been reading what HR material I can (Lets Pretend This Never Happened), but some of the hiring antics I see as a job seeker are completely baffling. As a programmer, psychology and mind-reading are inherent to success, so I find these things very interesting.

Why do companies post job ads for specialized positions that are so vague? I came across today a Web Developer position that could have been anything from a Crystal Reports analyst to a Database Administrator to a typewriter data entry job. What is really going on here? I have always thought that perhaps these jobs do not honestly know what they want. But I have recently begun to speculate that perhaps a the manager explains to a HRist and they translate in what terms they do know, and these are two vastly different worlds ; akin to your mechanic explaining the mechanical and physics intricacies of your cylinder misfires and all you might walk away with was ‘engine messed up’. That theory might also explain why so many very unqualified candidates get through with polished resumes that are empty, because they look better, and why the truly qualified are dismissed so easily. As a HRist, I might think “Python? WTF is this dude on about snakes? Dude’s high, screw him. Trash. “, not knowing Python is a programming language.

And what is with this terrible, heinous craze for companies to have their own hiring resume forms? One must fill out, field by field, their entire resume. It usually takes an hour or two. Only at the end are they given the option to upload their resume and cover letter. Each of these resume forms has its own nuances, like the one in particular that crashed and lost all my data three times (they are nearly all very crummy). I feel certain that only the resume is ever used and that the form is merely busy work mean to weed out and frustrate the not-so-determined, which says nothing about who is qualified and who is not. Not only that, but these “resume forms” are rarely robust. I feel certain that the form I filled out today that only had three previous employer spots will deem me a liar and some sort of federal fraud misrepresentation because my entire background has eight previous employers that they will discover upon background check. While a candidate can be dismissed for any reason, I feel like this is easy extra fodder, and loophole fodder for any future firing should they ever wish to bypass benefit payout.

 

Notice my name or enclosure is NOT on the message.

 

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