Love-Frustrating Relationship

Here’s what I believe in: The reason I was born is been staged by God. He selects what makes the most interesting scenario and determines what personality will play. Also, I believe god has the timing down to an exact science to handle any situation. It could be a man of good faith into a criminal family or the happiest family you know of producing one bad apple.

Let me first to say I love my parents and brothers. They taught me how to grow and look for any roadblocks. But, their methods I question. My dad is more of an authoritarian figure and you can say he’s a perfectionist. He wants the exact situation to happen. He believes there is no margin of error and worries that something will go wrong. Any false move and goodbye. My mother is the same way, but more quirky and believes religion solves anything. My oldest brother, Nate, is more of my father’s side a good son and why not, he was the first to come out of the three and believes in “optimizing” a decision. My middle brother, TK has the personality of both a cool person and my dad, and likes to nose around a little. Me, I’m looser in decisions and believe in experimenting and doing new things. Also to note, my brothers were born in the 1970s and I was the one hanging in the 1980s. My whole family is either very conservative or center-right (pending on the topic), while I am a liberal and the only “democrat” in the family.

Why I’m discussing this because today, I was looking for an umbrella at my house and couldn’t find the medium umbrella. My parents then all got pissed because one, we don’t have a medium umbrella anywhere and two, that we’re stuck with the small umbrella and the big umbrella. I believe in a person’s comfort, but my father lashes out that I select the wrong umbrella. It was a half-hour discussion on UMBRELLAS. He’s worried that with a big umbrella, I was going to injure people and endanger someone. He repeated over and over. Now with my experience, I know he is going to repeat it again and just want to get off the story. He still continues with the pros and cons of umbrellas and was dead serious. He should have told me to buy a poncho since it doesn’t injure anyone.

Now I know what your saying is why don’t you fight back? Well, I am never the argumentive type and won’t win in a debate, except sports and media topics, so I ignore the way out of left filed stuff people tell me. Also, I believe something will happen that will change for good for me (Oh, now your been selfish). Another thing is I’m not the most persuasive person in the world and would change it by action, not words. If it works, great; if it doesn’t, try again.

Back to the story, then he tries to teach a lesson on me that you have to learn from your mistakes (Check, got it), but you must watch your superiors to do it and follow them and don’t think your idea is going to work (WHAT?!) That’s why they hired me for ideas, and from that instant, I’m stuck between a worthless discussion and a worthless conversation. I know I made mistakes, but some mistakes = your greater doom? I’m think they want to terrified me to never do it again, but that is my style of trying something different (Thanks short attention span). Then, when I got home, all is fine like the Beavers (Might sound Twilight Zone-ish, but its true).

That was the story of today and let me onto a secret. The only reason I am open towards my friends and colleagues is because in my view, I know you don’t care about my story. You might care, but I’m doing this to release myself. The reasons I’m afraid to say anything is from each different individual. If I were to tell:

Mom & Dad – Boom! Goes the dynamite
Nate – He’ll care and understand but mostly will stand with our parents’ side.
TK – Similar to dad, but a little more caring but with the high pitch and emotion, the perception still resembles.

Another thing is they tell me that I am fat and overweight and start to lose weight, and I agree (Damn urges). Telling me to walk on a treadmill, do sit-ups and push-ups inside the house, ok. But, they don’t let me take a walk outside or hang with friends because of danger and my house is not the best for workouts (The treadmill is facing a wall and there is limited room for sit-ups and push-ups) Now again your thinking, take charge and do it on your own, don’t listen to them, do what is best. Well, that might be a great idea, but two things are wrong about it: the family would call the police that I runaway (I’m not kidding) and if I would to rebel, I honestly would rebel life including my career and friends and I would don’t give a crap about anyone and anything. There are some instances to rebel, but if I would be a complete rebel, I wouldn’t have the lifestyle I’m having, which I pretty much love.

If you put all the pieces together, yes I still do live with my parents but understand this: it’s for financial purposes that I’m still living with my parents and that’s a responsibility I don’t mind to take. Look, all these stories say you hate your family. Not even close. It might be frustrating at times, but they raise me to conquer all challenges and look for direction and settle in. That is all they wanted, granted, they wanted their own version but they’re stuck. The problem is its more of a generational gap that I, alone have different sets of methods than the whole family, but I think God created me is to understand that life is precious, don’t take anything for granted. I know I ‘m going to mistakes but I know I can learn from it, I just prefer my method better and just let it go (Consider this calling the Larry Brown (control freak)-Flip Saunders (open it up) control group). There might be ups and downs, but in the end it will be all worth it.

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