Secretariat…

In honor of Chuck Norris and the Triple Crown for Horse Racing, it is time to build my own fact website. I chose Secretariat for the hell of it. Here are some facts of Secretariat:

  • Secretariat is the greatest athlete in Virginia
  • Secretariat is a top ten athlete of all-time
  • Secretariat had sex breeded and got paid $50 million for each horse he was breeded
  • Secretariat can play all sports
  • Secretariat was a lefty
  • Secretariat’s dinner: Hay for appetizer; Michael Wilbon for the main course; and Cherries for dessert.
  • Secretariat breeded 30,000 Phillies
  • Secretariat + Lucille Ball = Angie Everhart
  • The origin of The Matrix series: Secretariat
  • In 1973, Secretariat was named as one of People’s 50 Most Beautiful People
  • When Secretariat gets shy, he turn his hair colors to pink
  • Secretariat wanted to run fast because he had previous commitments with ten other phillies after race day.
  • After his Belmont victory, Secretariat faced Mark Spitz in a swimming match (200M). Secretariat won by 10 lenghts.
  • Secretariat and Wilt Chamberlain were teammates and best friends for the Los Angeles Lakers, but the relationship fractured when Secretariat caught Wilt sleeping with 5,000 of his women.
  • Secretariat’s lawyers successfully sued announcer Alan Kalter of using the nickname “Big Red” and won $25 million and a guest spot with David Letterman
  • Secretariat was the creator of the basketball game H-O-R-S-E
  • In the Classic Home Run Derby, Secretariat defeated Reggie Jackson 21-7 and hit the longest home run in baseball history (1280 ft.)
  • Secretariat climbed Mount Everest in 10 minutes
  • While horses go to the glue factory; Secretariat made his own glue from his own poop.
  • Secretariat is always the Alpha Male
  • In a recent survey, more than 80% of the women would have sex with Secretariat than Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, and Colin Farrell together
  • Secretariat had a sports camp for inspiring athletes. His former campers: Michael Vick, Allen Iverson, Grant Hill, J.J. Redick, Billy Wagner, Ronald Curry, Tiki and Rhonde Barber, Jeff and Ward Burton, Pete Sampras, and Lawrence Taylor
  • In a charity boxing match, Secretariat beat Muhammed Ali in 12 seconds with the left hoofer on Ali’s jaw.
  • Secretariat creates tornadoes
  • As a two-year old, Secretariat surprisingly retired. However, before the first horse race of 1973, Secretariat came back and said in his press conference, “I’m broke and I’m back!!!”
  • Secretariat usually get $120 an hour in the summer for families who need air conditioning
  • Secretariat is the first basketball player to dunk a ball from the three-point line.
  • Secretariat can lift an airplane 10 times straight.
  • Secretariat fought for animal rights against glue companies and won a reported $767 million for each sire of the horse was euthanized by the glue companies.
  • Secretariat’s favorite quote, “BUH-BYE!”

Please send your own Secretariat facts to the comments section.

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